Musical Storytelling

at its best
consists of expandable vignettes
contingent on variable attention spans
and age appropriate material

all performances uniquely improv

The everchanging demographic of
participants around the piano-bar
dictates the flow of humorous anecdotes
Winko Ljizz, the OneManBand storyteller.

The following is a brief alphabetical list of
typical tall tales and cast of characters
which may (or may not) manifest
in the Acoustic Sanctuary.

A Pirate’s Peril

How the pirate got his
peg leg, hook and patch
Be careful what you wish for

All American Girl

Original song about an exotic dancer
(Rated PG)

Another Night in the City

Original song about the street life of
a bum, a hooker and a dope dealer

Where rage is met with a trauma scene
We try to understand
The stage is set for the drama between
Supply and demand

Blues Child Prodigy

A group singalong over 12 bar blues
reminiscing greatest hits from childhood:

ABCs; Twinkle Little Star; Old McDonald;
Mary Had a Little Lamb; etc

Girl of My Dreams

Original song about a better
kind of sleep apnea

Color My World

An old man recollects being
an adolescent secret admirer
struggling with unrequited love
at a junior high school dance

Dead Cat Blues

A long awaited reunion with
a high school sweetheart
goes horribly wrong
(Rated PG)

Dude Ranch Dilemma

Memories from the 1960s of
a ‘tween-age rite of passage at
a horse riding stable famous for
10 year birthday parties

Earth Is A Game

Original song of how humanity is
just game pieces on a boardgame
played between God and Satan

Satan looks up to me while
God’s looking down on me

Easter Bunny

Planning for breakfast turned into
a Last Supper fiasco
and got blamed on a pet rabbit

Gay Messiah

Heretically humorous account of
how a gender confused son
tries to save the world from
his narcissistic deadbeat dad
(Rated PG)

Gator Caller

An old man brags about glory days as
a Florida champion gator caller
ending with an alligator impersonation


Classic Ray Stevens cover song
featuring characters:
Tarzan, Jane and Chita


Classic Jimmy Webb song of reincarnation
featuring characters:
a bandit, sailor, builder, and astronaut

Homeless People

Original song about homeless struggles

If the rich have it made,
How come they’re afraid
Staying locked in their homes
While the homeless roam?

How Our Souls Are Blessed

Original song about releasing anxiety
by embracing freedom from desire

Allow power goals to rest.
That’s how our souls are blessed.

Jack, the Clown

A balloon pumps up a twisted clown
(Rated PG)

The Last First Date

A hilarious account of online dating
(Rated PG)

The Last Sunday Drive

1960s family tradition comes to
a screeching halt as dad attempts
to sing like Frank Sinatra to the 8-track


Original song of trials and tribulations
and why they are good for us

Life is a quiz and you’ve got to be psychic
The tougher it is, the better you’ll like it.
Life is an exam on what it takes
It ain’t worth a damn without the mistakes.
Life is a test on how we use our skills
And we use them best mopping up our spills.

My Computer’s Got Hooters

Original song about internet porn
(Rated PG)

Religious Freaks

Original song about perils of religious icons

I think about (Jesus, Buddha or Martin)
How did he know
To be so wise and live to rise above?
It’s been said that as we shed our ego
We gain insight to visualize with love

Rod-n-reel Mad

Original fisherman’s anthem about
eluding a nagging wife
..turning into a dissertation of
how women are like fish
and the best way to compromise

Sacramento Song

Original song about relocating

I was down_ in fact I’ve been low
‘til I was bound_ for Sacramento

Santa Claus Blues

A twisted Christmas Carol about
a drastic change in lifestyle as a bachelor
after Mrs. Claus ran off with the elves

She’s sick and tired of all that snow
Sick and tired of Santa’s “Ho, Ho, Ho”

Schizophrendly Charlie

An old schizophrenic fool
arguing with himself on a cell phone
talking out both sides of his mouth
(disturbingly funny)


Original song about internet scams
too good to be true ..too true to be good
(Rated PG)

Universe Song

A classic Monte Python song revision
attempting to explain modern physics
designating science as the new religion.

Relativity and Quantum Mechanics
Evolution vs Entropy
Scales of size between micro and macro
Particle entanglement

The universe requires life, because
nothing can exist without an awareness of it